Wow, it is fall already and soon we will be start celebrating the holidays! It's hard to believe how fast 2011 has gone! Alot of good and bad has happened and changes.
I will say that I am working to make the rest of 2011 the best I can. I am working to heal from all that I have been through the last few months, plus my neighbor ran into the house a few months ago and the damage is being repaired. The home office south wall was damaged with $5,000 worth of damage! OUCH!! Thank Goodness he had insurance and they agreed to pay for it!!
Once the room is totally repaired I will be moving the home office from this room to the next room which is smaller, I don't need a large home office and it will be nice to have a large den area that is warm in the winter months and it is cool in the summer months!
With the divorce I was left with bills and debts and slowly I am paying them off, and it is feeling so good to get them paid off one by one slowly. I paid a large one off of the property tax that was about to leave me homeless if I didn't get it paid soon! I also got all the utilities paid up so I am not at risk of not having utilities in the house which is a relief as well! I am feeling alot more mature and responsible now with being able to get them paid and even on my small income getting at least partial payments on the past due items.
I have learned in the 4 months I can do alot of things I didn't think I could do and I have really learned about me and my abilities. I also have learned that healing from all I have been through is not a overnight thing or I can't just brush it under a rug and forget it. I found out that my world comes crashing down around me and I get hopeless, depressed and I thought about taking my life at one time. I ended up in bed and slept alot, then read and watched tv and snuggled with a teddy bear I had gotten. I realized this self care time for "ME" was what I needed. That what I need and want to do can and will wait for me and will be there for me when I am ready to tackle it.
I now believe I can do so much! I know I will have mountains in my way but I will be determined and find a way over it or around it! I can make it through the tough times in life. I have been through so much in the past 47 years and for sure the last year and I can make it through anything. I know I must also "Lean on God"! My relationship with God since all this has gotten so much closer and better. He has let me know He is with me and I am NOT going through all this and my tough times alone. He has my back and together as a team there isn't anything we can't handle together!!
This has been a longer post than I really planned so I will close and write one more before I head to bed!
Till I write again,
~Denene~
