Friday, September 30, 2011

1ST POST.......

Wow, it is fall already and soon we will be start celebrating the holidays! It's hard to believe how fast 2011 has gone! Alot of good and bad has happened and changes.
     I will say that I am working to make the rest of 2011 the best I can. I am working to heal from all that I have been through the last few months, plus my neighbor ran into the house a few months ago and the damage is being repaired. The home office south wall was damaged with $5,000 worth of damage! OUCH!! Thank Goodness he had insurance and they agreed to pay for it!!
      Once the room is totally repaired I will be moving the home office from this room to the next room which is smaller, I don't need a large home office and it will be nice to have a large den area that is warm in the winter months and it is cool in the summer months!
      With the divorce I was left with bills and debts and slowly I am paying them off, and it is feeling so good to get them paid off one by one slowly. I paid a large one off of the property tax that was about to leave me homeless if I didn't get it paid soon! I also got all the utilities paid up so I am not at risk of not having utilities in the house which is a relief as well! I am feeling alot more mature and responsible now with being able to get them paid and even on my small income getting at least partial payments on the past due items.
       I have learned in the 4 months I can do alot of things I didn't think I could do and I have really learned about me and my abilities. I also have learned that healing from all I have been through is not a overnight thing or I can't just brush it under a rug and forget it. I found out that my world comes crashing down around me and I get hopeless, depressed and I thought about taking my life at one time. I ended up in bed and slept alot, then read and watched tv and snuggled with a teddy bear I had gotten. I realized this self care time for "ME" was what I needed. That what I need and want to do can and will wait for me and will be there for me when I am ready to tackle it.
      I now believe I can do so much! I know I will have mountains in my way but I will be determined and find a way over it or around it! I can make it through the tough times in life. I have been through so much in the past 47 years and for sure the last year and I can make it through anything. I know I  must also "Lean on God"! My relationship with God since all this has gotten so much closer and better. He has let me know He is with me and I am NOT going through all this and my tough times alone. He has my back and together as a team there isn't anything we can't handle together!!
        This has been a longer post than I really planned so I will close and write one more before I head to bed!
              Till I write again,